From Groupie to *Rockstar*

If someone had to write a book on a being a virtual groupie, they certainly could interview me!  In my short 6 month stint:

·         I lovingly created CD copies of their EP with hand-made covers by moi and formally distributed them to “select” friends.

·         I contributed my vocal talents to remixes.

·         I created picture slideshows with photos I stole from their website.

·         I stuck promotional stickers on everything and anything, including the Parthenon in Greece!

·         I learnt all the lyrics to their songs as I set my media player to play their songs over and over again.

·         I tried to make their band name a commonly used expression of coolness, unsuccessfully.

·         I stayed up late into the night/morning listening to them feature (well the Knight really) on a late-night student radio show.  I even got a shout out and made fan pictures in paint for them.  Boy I was so cool!

·         And when they split, I offered my shoulder to cry on if required and then just bounced off to the next band!

I did all of this without even meeting them!  I was the epitome of a fanatical virtual groupie.

So when Jewish Emo Gangster Dachshund (JEGD for short) suggest a musical collaboration, I considered the proposition long and hard.  So far I had only witnessed the musical scene from across the fence, was I ready to become the scene?  It took around 30 minutes for me to stop pondering and just start bouncing around the room as ideas sprang in my mind.

So our pooches got a photoshop make over, now donning the essential rock band instruments, and I brushed the dust off a sound recording programme disc which I had actually received from one of band members.  It was a sign that this was all meant to be, DESTINY, he had passed the gauntlet and here I  WE were about to take myspace by storm!

The first few recordings were pretty awful but soon I got the swing of it, doing parodies of well known songs with a canine twist.  Unfortunately JEGD was not as into the whole concept as I was and soon it became a solo project.  Well I say solo, I let  of course included my doggy Diva do a few cameos and a woofing backing track.

I know this all sounds positively insane but I’ll shock you even more by telling you that our establishment was actually to counter an already rising star.  A team of two Chihuahuas, whose high pitched remixes of classics had already begun to take over petspace and were driving all those that didn’t like the Cheeky Girls slightly mad.  So although it was pretty barmy as a concept, I was not alone in my looneyville!

My Our big hit was a reconfiguration of the simple song “You are my Sunshine” with the replacement of Bonio; because all dogs need a bonio a day!  It was one of those annoyingly catchy songs, everyone knew the tune and the lyrics were pretty hilarious(if I say so myselt).  It took Petspace by storm and unusual for a music MySpace page we actually got requests to be our friends rather than the normal trawling to find anyone to add.  

For those that don’t use MySpace; MySpace allows you to place a song on your page that automatically plays when someone views your profile.  So your fans actually promote your music and it was such a thrill to click on a new profile and hear a blast of your track.  It even got to that stage when I would have to pause the song about two lines in as I was getting sick of my our own voice! (You know that’s when you are really famous!)

I assumed it was only a matter of days before the contract landed in my mail box and in the meantime I did a few more tracks – for the album of course.  But I think the fame started to get to me, JEGD was long out of the picture and my doggy Diva was lucky if she even got a woof at the end.  I started adding human profiles too, breaking an unspoken-rule of Petspace but I was conscious that every time I checked in on the Cheeky Chihuahua duo they were amounting ever more fame.

Then the day of reckoning came, Cheeky Chihuahuas got a record contract!!!!!!!! WHAT THE DOG?!

It was a sad, sad day...  And soon my our rockstar venture joined the pile of no longer active music pages where only our loyalist fans visited.

I guess those two Chihuahuas had something going for them. Maybe it was their hot American blonde owners or the fact one was probably dating a music producer – either way we were outcompeted and bowed out gracefully (I managed to refrain from smashing up the recording programme disc).  Plus I felt pretty guilty for getting swept up in the storm of fame and the prospect of glittery lights!  I had snubbed a few people in the process including my diva dog but everyone forgave me.

Even though my musical stardom was only brief, I am able to relive it occasionally when I am unleashed in a late night session of bandhero  or singstar.  When I wasn’t flouncing about, I really did have a giggle and I know a few people who still can’t help but laugh when they see a Bonio and find themselves singing the song ... I think that’s a mission accomplished!

And I was to discover rather than chasing fame, sometimes it just comes right on up and hammers on your door...